I Felt It

I felt it for a moment, but I felt it.  I was not tired.  It took me by surprise and for a moment it confused me, it has been so long.  Then I realized... This feeling is what it feels like not to be tired.  I am grateful.  This is big.  Thank you Lord.

I Wonder

I wonder.. why once again these moments. ?  I did notice there was a gentle smile with eyes this time.. a gentleness that comes with time, understanding, and spiritual growth.

I Read Somewhere

I read somewhere ..something like.. when someone whether consciously or unconsciously lives in fear and hides from the world..there inner and outer beauty starts to wither and die.  All I am saying is.. I feel the need to stop hiding as I heal and get stronger.  I don't expect to be the beautiful inner and outer me that I was before.  I expect a me that is no longer afraid.  I am not sure what that is.  The old me even if you say yes, my inner and outer back then was beautiful and perfect yes it was and..- I was always just surviving.  I feel it, I taste it, I want it, I long for it. I want to live, not just survive - live.  I say it, I write it, I breathe it, I dream it because I am, and I shall live ands so shall it be.  Thank you Lord.

The Wind

The wind is howling and the fatique is pulling me into a sleep that calls on me.  There is a stillness around me let's my spirit breathe and it holds me gently as the wind on the outside howls, sweeps by, and let's nothing get in its way.  The contrast of the two does not go unoticed.

It Is Time

It is time.... lalalala ... the hurt and the healer collide.....lalalala .. the question is.. who is the hurt? Who is the healer?  Can one be both at the same time? Can both be both at the same time?  Can one be neither at the same time?  Neither healer.. neither hurt.  Can both be neither?  I hurt and yet I heal.  For this I am grateful Lord.

Interesting

Interesting.  Life can be.  Much wonder, much happiness, and much surprise.  How lovely it can all be.  I am grateful.

There It Was

Almost at the end of the book.... Live And Let Love Edited by Andrea Buchanan.... there it was....page 263...  there it is..  what simple truths we can find in words not written by our own hand.  Oh well, it is what it is.  I have much to ponder.

I Feel The Need

I feel the need to write and yet I do not.  I long for the liberty and freedom to write of past hurts and believe it will one of the last steps in healing.  Yet even as I need and know the path of my healing I once again stop and worry about others and put them before my needs.  I will find a way to write and express my feelings.  Things brings a smile to me as I close my eyes in sadness in irony.  Noone is listening, noone is reading, once again I worry for no reason.  I know this as I say this and yet I still worry.  Here we go again.

I see bridges

I see bridges..  bridges can bring us closer... bridges can fall not by my doing not by your doing and yet the bridges fall.  Would you believe that bridges falling could be my signal of certainty? Would signs of certainty bring together our destinies? Is this a possibility or just a moment in a different reality?

11

Eleven.  I know, I know.  Like I said eleven.