Once Again

Once again it is sinking in.  I am so close to being free.  I am almost there

This Too

This too shall pass...  my eyes are tired... my muscles ache...my spirit is full of light in spite of it all...I am grateful.. the more I see that I never counted the more it sets me free...

Luna - rest in peace

Luna I love you my puppy.  Rest in Peace. Even though you are in a better place my heart hurts. I miss you.

You are not alone

And you are loved.

I cannot sleep

I cannot sleep... *sigh*

I Felt It

I felt it for a moment, but I felt it.  I was not tired.  It took me by surprise and for a moment it confused me, it has been so long.  Then I realized... This feeling is what it feels like not to be tired.  I am grateful.  This is big.  Thank you Lord.

I Wonder

I wonder.. why once again these moments. ?  I did notice there was a gentle smile with eyes this time.. a gentleness that comes with time, understanding, and spiritual growth.

I Read Somewhere

I read somewhere ..something like.. when someone whether consciously or unconsciously lives in fear and hides from the world..there inner and outer beauty starts to wither and die.  All I am saying is.. I feel the need to stop hiding as I heal and get stronger.  I don't expect to be the beautiful inner and outer me that I was before.  I expect a me that is no longer afraid.  I am not sure what that is.  The old me even if you say yes, my inner and outer back then was beautiful and perfect yes it was and..- I was always just surviving.  I feel it, I taste it, I want it, I long for it. I want to live, not just survive - live.  I say it, I write it, I breathe it, I dream it because I am, and I shall live ands so shall it be.  Thank you Lord.

The Wind

The wind is howling and the fatique is pulling me into a sleep that calls on me.  There is a stillness around me let's my spirit breathe and it holds me gently as the wind on the outside howls, sweeps by, and let's nothing get in its way.  The contrast of the two does not go unoticed.

It Is Time

It is time.... lalalala ... the hurt and the healer collide.....lalalala .. the question is.. who is the hurt? Who is the healer?  Can one be both at the same time? Can both be both at the same time?  Can one be neither at the same time?  Neither healer.. neither hurt.  Can both be neither?  I hurt and yet I heal.  For this I am grateful Lord.

Interesting

Interesting.  Life can be.  Much wonder, much happiness, and much surprise.  How lovely it can all be.  I am grateful.

There It Was

Almost at the end of the book.... Live And Let Love Edited by Andrea Buchanan.... there it was....page 263...  there it is..  what simple truths we can find in words not written by our own hand.  Oh well, it is what it is.  I have much to ponder.

I Feel The Need

I feel the need to write and yet I do not.  I long for the liberty and freedom to write of past hurts and believe it will one of the last steps in healing.  Yet even as I need and know the path of my healing I once again stop and worry about others and put them before my needs.  I will find a way to write and express my feelings.  Things brings a smile to me as I close my eyes in sadness in irony.  Noone is listening, noone is reading, once again I worry for no reason.  I know this as I say this and yet I still worry.  Here we go again.

I see bridges

I see bridges..  bridges can bring us closer... bridges can fall not by my doing not by your doing and yet the bridges fall.  Would you believe that bridges falling could be my signal of certainty? Would signs of certainty bring together our destinies? Is this a possibility or just a moment in a different reality?

11

Eleven.  I know, I know.  Like I said eleven.

Those Who Want

Those who want to see me, will see me.  Those who do not want to see me, will see me.  Whether it is unfortunate or whether it is fortunate... only time will tell.  Has told time told you anything?  Time, he is my friend.  Time whispers to me, time calls on me, time loves me.  How very lucky for me.

I Said I'd Stand

I said I would "stand by you".  Here I am... still standing and it is okay.  I am always my strongest when I am left standing alone.  But I am promise I am still standing. 

The Wind Was Howling

The wind was howling outside.  It was lovely.  Fits my mood... don't mess with me mood.  I know, I know, "tranquila" .  Breathe, but don't mess with me. 

The Irony Of it All

The irony of it all is how peacefully sweet the night can be even though my physical body is captured and painfully being tortured at the same time from an enemy that is called fibromyalgia.  That is okay.  I will not give up.

I Can Breathe

I can breathe deeper and slower and it brings much quietness from the inside.  It helps me slow down and heal.  I am grateful.

Lalala lean on me..

Song in my heart...singing..lean on me.. when ur not strong... I'll be ur friend..I'll help you carry on...

Wow.

Wow. 

So Much Going

So much going through my mind and heart.  Calmly, peacefully, and with tears and joy.  Loving that the element of fear is removed.  I am grateful and thankful, Lord.  Amen

Such peace

Such peace and joy.  Are you part of the peace and joy in this world?  If not, ask yourself, why not?

Scares Me

People that expect OThERS to make them happy.. scare me.  It tells me no matter what they say, how much they have, and how busy they are.... they are not happy with themselves. 

I Wonder

I love big romantic gestures in movies.  In real life they scare the weegeebeez out of me.  Why? I wonder?  Hmmm

Good Morning

Morning Lord I say as I pray.  I give thanks for so much and the gratefulness that is within me spills over from my dreams today.  May you find your peace and love that you seek.  Amen

Good Night Sweet World.

Good night sweet world.  Dear world, thank you for being kind, gentle, joyous, and peaceful.  I am grateful. Amen

the Feeling Of Free

The feeling of free.  The type of free that I mean is at my grasp.  I got so much validation with all the words I read.  The parallels of two worlds that are apart are quite striking and validate my choices and my urgency at the time to stay away.  My series called Moments of Temporary Sanity will be published soon.  I would have given anything to be able to say I have a friend even just to say someone that I know from long ago here.  Unfortunately this did not come to pass. It is okay.  I search for peace.  I have been asking for quite a bit of time ... for peace, tranquility, and joy.  I have also dared now to add health in the picture.  Did not realize I was not asking for health.  I hope your day is full of joy, peace, tranquilty, and health.  Amen

Good night

Wishing you a wonderful night and know that you are not alone. 

I See The Connections

I see the connections from chapter to another .. how very lovely indeed...

We Accept

"We accept the love we think we deserve"... something like that.. from the movie.. The Perks Of Being A Wallflower..I think that is the name....

Holding My Dreams At Bay

Holding my dreams at bay.  What bay? Lol who ever said that expression first? I always wondered.  If you find yourself holding your dreams at bay, ask yourself why? Is it fear?  Is it health? Is it love?  There is a story somewhere in here...

Be careful

Be careful but keep moving forward.  Those who want  to find fault will do so even in the smallest things.  Keep moving forward anyways.  I am tired and yet I will continue to move forward.

I See Through

I see clearly through the color of the words and I choose to hear gentleness, kindness, truth, and honor.  I can see clearly right through the rest and know that God takes care of it.  It is a beautiful thing Father.  I am grateful.    Amen.

Such Tenderness

I read words with such tenderness.  I love that I see the tenderness if both of your words.  You have grown to be strong, compassionate, and a testament to the fact that dreams can and do come true.  I was told through the vines that long ago my words inspired you. Here I am now in a great place, finally, and now both of your words full of kindness now inspire me.  You both left me smiling with a feeling of hope.  I look around me and for others this a wreck.  But for the first time in my life I get to pick up the pieces and put them together my way.  I take responsibility for me and no regrets because any sacrifices I did whether imaginery or not got me to here.  What really hit home was if you are hiding you are not free.  Something like that.  It is my acknowledgement of what I have been feeling. Still have a few thoughts to ponder.  I love the fact that I sit here no anger, bitterness, hate, just love not just for the world but for myself also.  It took me a lot to get here.  I am so grateful, blessed and filled with much joy.  I wish your life is also filled with much blessings and joy.  Amen

Bonnie Tyler - I Need a Hero (Lyrics)

UB40 - Here I Am (Come And Take Me)

You Control

You control as much as you think as you do... or maybe not?  Or maybe I control more than you think I do? Or maybe not?  Or maybe we both are in control or maybe not? Either way you are still here reading.. actions will always speak louder than words.  Either way I am still here writing.. actions speak louuder than words.  I wonder if one day one of us will start to liaten? Maybe I have been listening all along? Maybe you have been listening all along? Or maybe not?  Nlw that is a play with words... a waste of your time and a waste of mine.. or maybe not?

I May Play

I may play with words..but I never play with love.  If you thought I was playing with love go back and read the words...

Softness In the Air

There is a softness in the air .... quite lovely...