Once Again

Once again it is sinking in.  I am so close to being free.  I am almost there

This Too

This too shall pass...  my eyes are tired... my muscles ache...my spirit is full of light in spite of it all...I am grateful.. the more I see that I never counted the more it sets me free...

Luna - rest in peace

Luna I love you my puppy.  Rest in Peace. Even though you are in a better place my heart hurts. I miss you.

You are not alone

And you are loved.

I cannot sleep

I cannot sleep... *sigh*

I Felt It

I felt it for a moment, but I felt it.  I was not tired.  It took me by surprise and for a moment it confused me, it has been so long.  Then I realized... This feeling is what it feels like not to be tired.  I am grateful.  This is big.  Thank you Lord.

I Wonder

I wonder.. why once again these moments. ?  I did notice there was a gentle smile with eyes this time.. a gentleness that comes with time, understanding, and spiritual growth.

I Read Somewhere

I read somewhere ..something like.. when someone whether consciously or unconsciously lives in fear and hides from the world..there inner and outer beauty starts to wither and die.  All I am saying is.. I feel the need to stop hiding as I heal and get stronger.  I don't expect to be the beautiful inner and outer me that I was before.  I expect a me that is no longer afraid.  I am not sure what that is.  The old me even if you say yes, my inner and outer back then was beautiful and perfect yes it was and..- I was always just surviving.  I feel it, I taste it, I want it, I long for it. I want to live, not just survive - live.  I say it, I write it, I breathe it, I dream it because I am, and I shall live ands so shall it be.  Thank you Lord.

The Wind

The wind is howling and the fatique is pulling me into a sleep that calls on me.  There is a stillness around me let's my spirit breathe and it holds me gently as the wind on the outside howls, sweeps by, and let's nothing get in its way.  The contrast of the two does not go unoticed.

It Is Time

It is time.... lalalala ... the hurt and the healer collide.....lalalala .. the question is.. who is the hurt? Who is the healer?  Can one be both at the same time? Can both be both at the same time?  Can one be neither at the same time?  Neither healer.. neither hurt.  Can both be neither?  I hurt and yet I heal.  For this I am grateful Lord.